tobecaprican | the last voyages // 5. video. no filter (t-x is included due to filter-fail).

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the last voyages // 5. video. no filter (t-x is included due to filter-fail).

I'm so frakking tired of this.

All of this hideous crashing and banging going on, the temperature fluctuations, the stupid ghosts, and when I finally get to sleep, it's one of those dreams again. What've you lot been doing for them, then? Anyone in the infirmary have anything to help with it?

A horse tranquiliser, maybe. An emergency stiff drink. Graduation, perhaps. I'll not be venturing out for anything frakking less, alright?

...thank you.

[ OOC: No, weird and distressing dreams (more than the usual kind) aren't an October symptom. Yet, anyway. But Baltar is making Assumptions that could stand correction. Tag-back also might be a bit later on but will get to them. ]

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You think bad dreams are part of what's going on around here? [He doesn't sound doubtful at all. Actually, he sounds like it's something he'd never considered, BUT IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.]

Hm. If that's something new, at least it's something most people have dealt with.

[ In turn, it literally did not occur to Gaius it would be anything else. And still does not. ]

Not enough for this place to be frakking with us while we're awake, oh no, has to do it while I'm trying to get some rest to keep up my strength for all this redeeming I'm doing.

Is it passing quickly for anyone, then? Or just going on and on like everything else? Starting to get to be every single night.

What kind of-- [But he cuts off and shakes his head, because if Gaius has to answer, he's going to have to answer, and the last thing he wants to talk about is what he sees when he closes his eyes.]

I mean... how bad is it?

Try eleven years of it.

[ Half-awake, stressed out Gaius is a Gaius with poor judgment. ]

Well some of us aren't meant to be locked up in a loony bin, so forgive me if I'm trying to find a solution to the problem.

...fr--

I didn't mean anything by that.

I don't know. I just know that nightmares are not a rare occurrence here.

Every night, lately. Sometimes a break, where I just don't. It's the same thing but with differences, and it's not my subconscious, let me tell you.

Is it bad for you too?

No-- [ Sigh. ]

It's not just a nightmare. It's too real and, well. It isn't frightening. It just makes me question whether I'm even asleep. It isn't normal.

Will you tell me what happens?

What sort of bad dreams?

Gaius. What the fuck.

Yeah. Pretty bad, man. Way worse, lately. [A more rational Jesse would notice that his sleeping patterns also happened to coincide with certain other life changes... but this is not a rational Jesse.]

Do you... [He hesitates, glancing around. The last time he tried this, it ended badly, and Gaius isn't exactly a criminal mastermind. He bites his lip, thinking for a second, and then lowers his voice.]

[Private -- he's checking]

You didn't tell no one about that thing I hooked you up with, right? My friend Xena?

[ Hesitation, but-- wants to, really. ]

Well.

It's always here, in this cabin. Or I suppose, where I used to live, either one. There's this woman I knew back on Caprica, and she's a part of the reason I'm even here. Before I died, I found out she wasn't exactly who I thought she was. And now I dream of her, and she speaks like she knows about the Barge. About what I did to get here. And of course she thinks it's all well and good, and like it was any of my doing--

[ But he stops, there. The details don't matter. ]

So I figure the Barge is trying to get into our heads, or something, I suppose.

I know.

Sorry.

Vivid ones. They might as well be real life for all that I can feel them, remember them. Have you anything for dreamless sleeping?

I'd expect you'd start having them on hand. In emergencies.

Thanks for sharing. [the frown is so very there] Tell me your dream, then. I've been dealing with this shit for years, maybe I can...fucking help or something.

And next time, just tell me. I'm not about to take a 9mm to your face or anything.

Jesus fuck, Gaius.

[ Not unhappy with change of conversational direction, if unsure about why it's brought up now. Gaius switches to private filter compliantly. ]

No, not a word.

It's possible. But I don't think it's part of what's going on. Those seem to come in waves and I haven't heard anything about it from anyone else.

[ Starts to argue, a couple of times, but ultimately gives up. Scrubs his face with both hands before he asks; ]

In my file.

You'll know about the Cylon woman, obviously. It's her.

Really? I haven't really been... [ ...paying much attention. ]

I just sort of figured it must be the Barge. It's new for me, you understand. And there's first for everything. These waves start somewhere, and all that.

I remember. What about her specifically?

We have conversations. [ ...amongst other things. ] Sometimes they're not terrible, sometimes they're exceptionally unpleasant. They feel so frakking real, otherwise I'd ignore it - real enough that it's like I've not gotten any sleep at all.

...she doesn't like you much.

What I mean is, you can keep your mouth shut?

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